I accidentally had phone sex last night
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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