So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
