He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize