i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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