i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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