also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
