Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
