After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
