im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
