Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
