called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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