I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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