How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
