I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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