We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
