new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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