i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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