I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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