a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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