The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
