Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sorry about my life...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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