great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
