they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
