I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
