how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
