I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
