jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
