Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
