You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
