you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
