i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
