i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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