I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
