So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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