Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
