sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
