I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
