Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
