you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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