these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
