Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
