Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
