Where did you get a picture of my penis
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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