do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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