so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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