Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
