so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My penis needs a shock collar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
