Capitaan dildo arrescate!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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