guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
