Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
