oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
