Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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