Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
