They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
