You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
