Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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