too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
