I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
