You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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